I have only been to XXL London once and that was a totally wild experience!! For lots of people there - just not me unfortunately. No-one had explained to me how exactly the club was laid out, and being the height of absolute cool, I arrived pretty much the moment it opened doors. I drifted nonchalantly through the sparse bar area into a big empty dance floor. I continued through to another empty dance floor and then to the bar at the back. I got a drink and then went back to the second dance floor. I would love to claim that I stayed there because the music was rocking or because the dark room was in that section but it was simply that it had bits I could sit on. I'm lazy. Anyhoo, there I sat, perched on my wee platform thing and watched the 50 or so folk that filled this room. Some leather daddies and a few non-de-script people bopping about. By two in the morning, I was beginning to get bored and we decided to leave, rather disappointed in the lack of men. That's when I went back through the first dance-floor. It was wall-to-wall, chubby sweaty bears with their tops off, grinding and hugging and having a fucking awesome night. And all I could do was follow the guy I was there with, out through this heavenly crowd. I had missed the whole fucking thing. I found out later that Richard Riehle had been in there that night as well. That's not true but it might have fucking well have been - there was serious talent in that room. Therefore, for XXL this time, I intend to be constantly roaming around all the sections of club with night-vision specs and a walkie-talkie to communicate with friends who can direct me to the areas where all the men are. So, next week you will either get a sad blog or nothing as I will still be getting chipped out of the layers of dried daddy bear cum that I have been encased in - like that mosquito encased in amber from Jurassic Park.
I love the people who contact me to contribute to this blog. I really do. Even if the guy is not my speed, I totally appreciate someone taking the time to let me know about these guys. This week, the lovely Dan brought this Brazilian moustache with a body attached to my attention. I have the biggest weakness for moustaches and this guy is one of the best. Brazilian politician Romildo Titon. He stands for....politicy things and he has a very strong stance on.......stuff. I don't really care. He is beautiful and has a great, sexy moustache. He has developed the ability to make love to the camera in every shot. I did see something about some bribery and corruption scandal he is involved in about bore-drilling, but unless that is somehow going to result in him doing nude photo-shoots and porno's on Older4Me then I don't have much of an opinion. He's a politician - of course he's corrupt. Anyway, Mr Titon, I have bought you an extra ticket for XXL and I will be waiting for you by the dark room. I have a hole drilling proposition that you might be interested in!
"Get the fuck out of this shot, I am smouldering for the camera"
This looks like a porn film doesn't it? You know, the desk that has a few pieces of shit on it so it looks professional before they get down to the rimming and projectile jizzing.
This totally looks like one of the pics I would take when I was pretending to talk on my phone
"So, you wanna to drill my area?"
Feel free to photoshop a penis into this image
That shirt looks kinda tight - take it off!
The 'ready-to-close-lid-so-people-don't-see-your-porn' pose is perfectly illustrated here