Tuesday, 11 March 2014

157: General Sexiness

Good Morrow Gentle Readers!  I trust that life finds you well and that many a penis has found it's way to your waiting hands since last we spoke.  Spring is almost here and new life is beginning to course through my veins.

Spring rather arrived without warning.  Suddenly, I noticed it was light when I woke up at 6 am.  I'm sure it wasn't on Friday.  Does it really happen that fast?  Regardless, I am happy to see it come as I absolutely fucking hate winter.  I hate the dark, grey, cold, wet days.  I embrace a Scottish summer where the dark grey gives way to a lighter shade of grey sky and we can look forward to rain on only every other day.

Whilst I am in a productive and joyous mood, I bring you hot daddybear number 157.  Scottish weather proves one thing.  It is possible to be two completely different things at once.  It can be summer and the dead of winter at the exact same time here.  Visitors to Scotland will be able to testify to the fact that they can leave their hotel with a blue sky and warm sun beating down on them and within 5 minutes be soaked through with rain and staring out at grey clouds and gale force winds.  I, myself, am both a witty, learned, philosophical blogger and at the same time, a hot, young (Shut your mouth!) gigolo who never fails to satisfy a daddybear in bed..............  Okay, so one of those three things is true.

And so it is with our man.  Walther Ploos Van Amstel.  By day a Dutch economist, logistics expert and a professor of Logistics at the Dutch Defence Academy.  Where you learn to kill people, logistically.  He also does tons of other stuff to do with Logistics which I fail to be that interested in.  Although, it does prove he's an intelligent and sexy academic type.  Rather insultingly, the Google Translate of his Wikipedia page states that he is the 'Chairwoman' of the Jury of the Dutch Logistics Award.  Which is a thing, apparently.  I may seem dismissive of Logistics, but that is only because I don't know enough about the subject.  Maybe, Mr van Amstel, if you are reading, we could discuss it...over dinner? or maybe in bed? with dinner?

Anyway, by night, he is a different story.  As the darkness falls, and I become Batman, he becomes a rather awesome DJ by the name of DJ Big General.  Seen spinning the decks at such events as Furball, Gay Pride Amsterdam and the Manchester Bear Bash, he rather rocks the shit.  Big and burly and sweaty and hairy and yet, somehow inexplicably NOT my boyfriend.  As can be seen from my Soundcloud / Mixcloud mixes, I don't really know a lot about this DJ stuff.  Maybe, Mr van Amstel, if you are reading, we could discuss it...over dinner? or maybe in bed? with dinner?

I need to get a cold drink, my temperature is way up.

Walther knew he was in trouble when he mixed up his speech notes with the playlist for that nights 'Sleazeball'

"Please welcome Walther Ploos van Amstel as the new chairwoman of the jury.  Hehehehe"

That's a hell of a set-up just to play Flappy Bird

"This magazine is shit!  It has no crosswords in it at all!"

Brace yourselves...hehe - get it? Cos he's wearing braces?  Comedy gold

Seriously.  Dinner.  In bed.  I'll do anything you want!!!


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