Friday, 3 January 2014

We owe him so much - let's all suck him off

Digital painting.  Where would the world of Bear art be without it?  Very few bear artists rely solely on canvas and paints nowadays.  The initial sketching and inking can be done with hand, but usually the images either find their way into Manga Studio to tidy up the blank inking, or Painter / Photoshop to apply colours or lighting effects.  There can be no doubt that the pioneers of digital art took those noble first steps with the sole purpose of making guys jizz over paintings of chubby bearded guys bare-backing each other in dungeons.  Gawd Bless you all.

Nowadays, IT is a major source of employment that is crammed full of super hot bearish guys (and quite a few chasers).  But there was a time when that wasn't so.  Do you ever watch a film or TV show and they introduce an IT guy character who is invariably  1) unfashionably dressed  2) wearing unflattering glasses  3) has bad hair and 4) is socially inept with only interests in computers and Star Trek ?  Do you ever feel like 'what the fuck? I know tons of guys who work in IT and they are smoking hot'?  It's because the pioneers of computing were hyper-nerdy.  Bill Gates will never be fuckable.  Steve Jobs was also not a hot daddybear but he was also not really a computer guy - he was the salesman.  Steve Wozniak was the computer geek and despite being chunky and bearded he's...he's just a no.  Seriously, no.  I won't even tolerate a suggestion that he should ever appear on the Frontier.  So, the world of computing hasn't really produced any astoundingly hot daddybears........except that it totally has!  See what I did there?  I totes, like, lulled you into resignation before snatching you from the jaws of defeat.

Tim Jenison is a founder of the company NewTek, which...kinda sucks for a company name.  It sounds like the name of a shop in a lame 1980's science fiction film.  Urrgh, seriously, fuck that name.  Anyway, they started in the mid-eighties producing software such as Video Toaster, DigiView and DigiPaint.  And DigiPaint is where people totally started to produce actual artwork on the computer.  I remember at school, we first had BBC Micro's that had a solid state core processor (it was an almond) and whole 3 colour ability.  We didn't get shit like DigiPaint.  Anyway, Tim pioneered graphics, video and music production on the Personal Computer.  Without Digipaint, there would have been no Painter, no Manga Studio and therefore no Dchooi Doodlesart, no Drew Green and most importantly, no me.   It is important that Tim Jenison is recognised as the Father of Bear & Chub Art.  A title, no doubt, he will relish.

Tim recently took a project on to reproduce a Vermeer painting using complicated mirrors and optics and things, even though he has little to no experience of actual painting.  A documentary film is coming out soon chronicling his (successful) efforts.  But what is really the key fact to remember is that I'd fuck the ass off him.  He is an interesting daddybear.  In formal clothing, he looks as neat and well-manicured as you could want a daddybear to look.  Pop him in a pair of jeans and he looks totally different.  His beard gets messier, his hair more unkempt and he looks like that shopkeeper that you always wanted to suck off in the back room.  Smart, Rich and very cute indeed, he is almost the whole package.  Except for that fucking 'Straight' thing that these people will insist on being.  But that's his choice I suppose, I just need to be more tolerant.

"You see, I saw a gap in the market where older, hairy men's dongs were not being painted and distributed and I founded NewTek with the express purpose to fill that gap"

Despite being a computer genius, Tim still no concept of how home furnishings work

He he is at the ceremony to inaugurate him as the Father of Bear Art at the Lone Star in San Francisco.

All I need to do is photoshop Penn's face out and replace it with a guy in a balaclava and I have a great new image to wank to 

Seriously, I would park myself between those legs and never leave.

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