1) Clean Shaven
Now, if you are a particular fan of bearded or 'tached daddybears, you will likely have checked out such things as the World Beard Championships or the various Beard Clubs around the world. The World Beard Championships are a real eye-opener to the bizarre shapes that beards can be twisted into. The truth is, there is a ridiculous amount of hotness at these championships but many are ruined by having waxed their moustache into the shape of a spider's web or the Eiffel Tower or twisted their beard to form the shape of the cast of Cats performing the finale. I love facial hair but it can be taken too far.
There are some though that get the look spot on and I thought I would cover off a few today. These are by no means the only hot guys that you would encounter at Beard or Moustache clubs but they are the ones with a significant online presence so that you can imagine their beards with cum all over them. Which, at the end of the day, is what facial hair is for.
So first up is Wolfgang Schneider. He is probably the poster boy for the Beard and Moustache World Championships given that he always seems to win. Sure his moustache is a little over the top, but it's there to mop up all the semen from the bukkake sessions they have at the Championship's after show parties .
Seriously. Imagine it wrapped around your dick
Okay, so next up is Franz Peter Pill. This guy is one of my personal favourites. He has a Brian Blessed quality to him and really he should be made to enter the competitions naked. Maybe he could wear black socks and sock suspenders. And a vest. But that's it. He has something called a 'Garibaldi' beard which apparently means 'hot as fuck' in Italian.
So imagine all three of them naked in a hotel room. Which one would be in the middle of the spit-roast?
So, the final one was brought to my attention by a lovely contributor who noticed him being interviewed on TV earlier in the week. The awesomely-named Mycroft Milverton is a member of the British Beard Society and erm, well I am not quite sure what else he is really. He sells electronic pipes and he does performance things where a chubby guy with bugger-grips is required and he seems to make short films. Look I couldn't really figure it out. He's chubby, he's hairy, I'd fuck his brains out. That's all that really matters.
He's already in position for my arrival
Fuck Johnny Depp! This is who I want in the next Pirates of the Caribbean film