Friday, 22 June 2012

Help! Emergency! In my pants!

Isn't it great when two awesome things come together to make something super-awesome?  On rare occasions three things awesome things combine to form something uber-awesome.  Like when the ships came together in 'Battle of the Planets' (or 'G Force) to form the Fiery Phoenix, or the Power Rangers all formed together to form a big-ass, poorly-jointed robot.  Or when Bernard Manning and Kidney Disease combined to form No More Bernard Manning.  Sometimes great things combining doesn't always work out so good ( I love bacon, I love ice-cream - together is an anathema) so you have to cherish those times when it all fits together perfectly.

Lots of people like a man in uniform.  I am rather partial to a few myself.  Other people also like bikers.  All that leather and hot bollock stank.  And of course, only people with exceptional taste and refinement love daddybears.  What happens when you combine these three?  Rampant fucking hotness - that's what.  The man this week was brought to my attention by the lovely contributor, Richard.  The reason I was not aware of this piece of hotness was that he is in a show in the UK on Channel 5.  I really have to applaud Richard, not only for finding this man, but for watching that horrendous channel.  That is commitment to a cause.  I myself never watch Channel 5 and frankly fuck anyone in the ass that thought I did.  Steve Harris is a biker paramedic on the show 'Emergency Bikers' (or 'New Emergency Bikers' because they put the word 'New' there).  The show follows various emergency workers who ride bikes (see what they did there?) as the attend the various wacky situations that they encounter in Birmingham and the Midlands area.  There are biker police, biker paramedics and biker chocolatiers (the most important emergency service there is).

Steve is a big, hulking biker bear who happens to do something awesome.  Photographs don't quite do him justice so head on over to YouTube (after we are finished here, you impatient bitch) and look up Emergency Bikers.  They are full episodes so that is why I didn't embed them here and frankly there is too much 'emergency bikers who aren't Steve Harris' for my liking but he is totally worth waiting for.  To watch him walk about is a joy to behold.  He has an amazing arse in those leather trousers.  I go to Birmingham quite often so I will need to continually fall over next time I am down there until he shows up and gives me the kiss of life.  With his penis.  Considering the only other times I have been to hospital involved getting a keyring through my nose and getting hit by a car because my friend threw a dead frog at me, I would rather meet Steve with a slightly more manly and less embarrassing mishap.  Maybe falling and hurting myself rescuing a kitten from a tree or something that will make me irresistible to Mr Harris.  Goddamn, I bet his balls smell great at the end of the day when he peels off those leathers.  Sorry, I wandered away from my point a little there.  As there are children in some of the photos, I have again doctored them to eradicate any wrongness you may have about wanking when there are children on the screen.  Anyhoo, hope you enjoy this great big, sexy slice of Midland bear!


Daddybear? Check.  Uniform? Check.  Biker Leathers? Check  Me wanking off into a sock?  CHECK!!!

See how I helpfully doctored the child?  Someone had already helpfully doctored the background so that you don't have to feel bad about wanking whilst looking at concrete

Steve had rushed to the nearest emergency to find there was nothing he could do help this distressed woman's fashion sense

In retrospect, my attempts at doctoring the photos might actually hinder your boner rather than free it.

1 comment:

  1. Please. No more Carrot Top. No, really, please. Stop it.