The great thing about Christmastime, is that we are subjected to a lot of Santa imagery. And it's important that you have good imagery so that you can have your traditional Christmas Eve wank about him. If you don't wank about him before you go to sleep that night, he definitely won't come to your house. I have to admit that Coca Cola have done some really nice Santa
How cute is that? Real beard, sweet smile. I'd be very happy to wake up to that Santa emptying his sack in bedroom
This Santa has apparently mistaken the child for a bottle of Jack Daniels. This decidedly hobo-looking version of Santa will be pure nightmare fuel for that child for years to come.
The 'looking over his glasses' look does it for me. It also suggests pure, unadulterated sexual intent. Look, it works for me okay?
This is George Wendt in a film called 'Santa Baby'. Or possibly Barbossa in 'Pirates of the Caribbean'. Santa's tentacle beard strangles bad children.
There isn't much to say other than 'take the belt off'
Now this may come as a shock. I love Richard Riehle more than anyone on earth but he doesn't make a hot Santa. I can't explain it - the combination of Santa and Riehle should cause all my underwear to explode but he just doesn't suit it. I know what you are thinking - that pic looks ok to me but look at the pic below. It just doesn't work.
Now Charles Durning on the other hand makes a great Santa. And who knew that Angela Lansbury had such a large muff?
If I have to tell you what is wrong here, there is no hope for you
Santa Claus: The Movie may have sucked reindeer ballbags but Dan Huddleston looked the part (except for the hair). Big and strong and hung like a horse.
Pretty much everything is wrong here. Most annoying is that the guy playing Santa here is Jonathan G Meath who is actually really hot (he is a producer and actor). See below for evidence
Edmund Gwenn from the original 'Miracle of 34th St' is my favourite Santa. Not just because he was cute. He is exactly what Santa should be. Kind looking, friendly, magical. And gay.
"Ummm...yeah....I forgot about you kid. I was really only trying to bone your mother's boyfriend"
"You know...I've never killed a woman with a letter opener before but you are making me consider it"
Very Very Good Santas!
And, erm, some others......
The sternest Santa you will ever see