Now, I am not a firm beleiver in the idea that you should never hit a child. I don't personally have a problem with a parent spanking their child when they are being a little bastard. I just always found it a little creepy when teachers did it. Mainly because I remember the amount of glee that some teachers took in exacting said punishment - not that I ever received it - I was a fucking angel. Plus, parents spank. Teachers had canes & cats o' nine tails to flog the hands and asses of their teenage charges. That's not normal. Interestingly though - some of you might now be sitting with boners at the thought of it. Or standing on a train if you have an ipad or something. Possibly ejaculating on the sleeping homeless person that has been riding around on the train all day. I know my audience - and I don't judge. Filthy Perverts. But the idea of a hot daddybear teacher with his cane, getting you to pull down your pants and receive your punishment is a very sexy idea. The reality of it was fucking horrible. Not sexy at all - canes to the hand sting like a motherfucker (motherfuckers are a species of South American wasp). Not in a pleasant sexy way. In a 'worse than catching your dick in your zipper kind of way' - because the bastards didn't do restrained nippy spanky fun. They used their entire body weight and force to remove the skin from your body. They might have got a hard-on, but I can assure you, you wouldn't have.
This is what you got for forgetting your Maths homework
But, the power of sexual fantasy is strong. It clouds the memory of those horrific dark days. I am just as guilty of finding the daddybear, strict teacher a turn-on. Which brings me to the guy for this entry. He was the inspiration for one of my drawings. It wasn't a drawing of him - it was just strongly influenced by one of his film roles. This drawing in fact:
His name was Jimmy Edwards and he was British comedy actor and script writer chiefly active from the 40s to the early 70s. He was mainly famous for two things: A show called 'The Glums' and the film 'Whack-O!'. It is 'Whack-O!' that is the most iconic. As the ultra-strict headmaster with a penchant for whipping the living shit out of pupils, he now fufils quite a few sexual fantasies. The reason that I mentioned that he was active until the early 1970s is because he was outed at that time. 1970s Britain liked it's comedians bigoted and it's homosexuals flaming. You could sort of carve out a career if you were Larry Grayson, Kenneth Williams or John Inman. But a big, strapping, hairy fuck off manly daddybear? A WWII hero? No way. He found it hard to get work after he admitted being gay. I hate that I used that phrase. Admitted. Like it's a crime. But I can't think of a better word since 'coming out' wasn't really his choice. Anyway, he was gorgeous. But that sexual fantasy thing swings both ways. Now knowing that he was gay, it casts a different light on all those cane and whips scenes. I know it shouldn't but it kinda does. He very much looked the part. So much so, that any film or TV show that has a old-fashioned teachers essentially bases the look on him. He was the quintessential spank-happy headmaster. Now I find myself rewatching all those scenes to see if I can spot an erection. Who am I kidding? I was staring at his crotch anyway.
He might as well have a dildo in his hand
You can buy a book explaining how to impersonate females? Someone send a copy to Ann Widdecombe immediately!
Latterly, Edwards could only get work providing the sound effects in 'Carry On' films when Barbara Windsor's boobs fell out.
"Hmmm. Well what do you know? That's what a goatse is"