Saturday, 18 June 2011

Oh him! I knew I knew his face

I came across pictures (not in the sexual sense - well ok not just in the sexual sense) of a guy a few years ago with no idea who he was.  Just a handsome business looking daddybear.  My guess was either CEO or politician.  And I was right - turned out he is a politician.  Now I am slow on the uptake from time to time, so many of you may know this man already.  Certainly any German readers will.  I should correct that - any German 'people who scan the paragraphs for the name and then skip to the pictures' will. 

His name is Peter Harry Carstensen and he is a German politician.  He is the Minister President of the state of Schleswig-Holstein and serves as the President of the Bundesrat.  Which is a thing.  A thing I know nothing about.  I know you were all hoping for some really insightful and informative facts about the German political system but I just don't care about party politics.  Anywhere.  Now, what exciting facts can I tell you about Mr Carstensen? Well he was a widow but has now remarried.  He once agreed for the newspaper, Bild, to run a competition to find him a new wife.  Which was a really fucking stupid idea.  Think 'Flavor of Love' with an older, white, german politician instead of Flavor Flav.  Does that sound like a strong political move?  Also, it was a newspaper and not a TV show so there were no hot-tub scenes with him.  No shots of him trying to hide his boner as a German equivalent of 'Snookie' grinds on a pole.  Really, a wasted opportunity. 

Also, he is really rather sexy looking.  Now I admit we all have our prejudices and pre-conceptions about different countries.  Germany is a fantastic country - I want to make that clear.  I see so many hot men online from Germany, I am tempted to pack my bags and move there.  Except......look, I know this is probably not true, a misconception, but I am kind of scared of German men.  It's just that, well, I'd be worried that once we got into the bedroom they would try and poop on me.  Now I know many a german would be horrified by this thought but, well, I see a lot of porn and .... germans always seem uberkinky.  I know that it most likely a silly fear and therefore any German daddybears reading this, please come help me get over this misconception.  Don't think of it as sex, think of it as therapy for me.  Think of it as a charitable action.  Once ten of you or so have come over and showed me the error of my ways, I will happily but this silly thought to bed.  Watersports is totally ok though.

"Vote 'Whoo Mama' for me or will break this puppy's fucking neck"

"Oh don't mind me.  Forget that camera and that I am a politician looking for votes.  You are totally my kind of people, er, I mean dudes...."

"You know how to use an alphorn, don't you Mr Carstensen?  You just put your lips together and blow"

Everyone behind him is totally checking out his ass

Pictured:  Passion

I'm...I'm not entirely sure who I want to fuck more in this picture

Carstensen stood for a long time, mesmerised by the stone mason's crotch

Moments later, he was working the nipples

She kinda looks like she is going to punch him (for being too sexy).  Surely a beauty queen would never do something like that?

ooooh SNAP!  It looks like she totally would!


  1. Why on earth would he be blowing an alphorn? Shleswig-Holstein is about as far away from the Alps as you can get in Germany. I suspect he's definitely on the kinky side, but it might not have anything to do with poop or piss. And let's face it - anybody prepared to find his future wife on a Bild competition can't be too interested in romance with the opposite sex.

  2. I'm in deep, deep love.

    I've taken up German.

    I've flown to be with him.

    We have a huge house and 've haf gut times ja' with the puppy on the lawn.

    We are to be married.

    Please, won't you attend our celebration?

    A simple affair.

    If you are too upset and cant cope with your 'sense of loss' please just send a card with your well-wishes.

    No gift.

    He's in das jacuzzi, calling for me.

    I must run.

    I must.

    I must.

    I ... I ... there ... is ... a God ...

    [Thank your for your site. Never take it offline!]