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Monday, 21 July 2014

162: A smooth Cuban to stick in your mouth

The Commonwealth Games are now due to start here in Glasgow.  I have spent the last few weeks undergoing intense athletic training to get myself in shape only to find out that Malteaser-tossing is not a featured event.  All that time wasted!

All the eyes of the Commonwealth will be focused on Glasgow and....it will be a fuck up.  To say that Glasgow couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery is an understatement.  They couldn't organise a orgy in Westminster!  At the moment, there are diversion signs all over Glasgow that, if you follow them, send you in a loop back to where you started.  The Games were meant to be used as a springboard for regenerating the east end of the city, however other than the athlete village, the key areas still look like shit.  Not even superficial dressing up of shop fronts.  Rejoice, people of the east end, we are bringing the Games to your area!  Oh, by the way, there's curfew in place so if you are outside of your house after 10 pm you will get arrested.  Hooray!

But enough of my eager excitement about the impending Games.  I bring to you a Cuban daddybear.  I don't think I have featured a Cuban man before.  I am not sure, but I think if you are American you may not be allowed to even look at this guy.  I apologise if that is the case.  You could illicitly look at him - not that I am encouraging that Mr NSA man! - I know that several Americans have secretly enjoyed getting hold of a nice, fat Cuban, putting it in your mouth and sucking deep for that beautiful, full-bodied taste.  And then some of you have even smoked Cuban cigars.

Pedro Luis Ferrer is a Cuban guitarist, composer and singer and all-round cute daddy bear.  His on-stage photos seem to fall into two categories.  1) He is very happy, invoking the true Communist principle by smiling with all the teeth in Cuba.  2) He looks decidedly unhappy.  As if he has noticed someone in the audience talking on their mobile phone.  He looks quite stern like that.  I kinda like it.  And by like it, I mean I masturbated to those images.  I'd be happy if that was his cum-face.



"So..it's C-G-C-C-A - papaya - G - mango..."



"Seriously, I hear that ringtone again and I'll beat you with this guitar!"



Pictured:  All the teeth of the inhabitants of Yaguajay


"Don't look at his hair.  Don't look at his hair.  Dont look.."




Coming soon!  The 'Shut The Fuck Up, I'm on Stage' Live album




I had to include this pic of Ferrer's cock

Monday, 2 June 2014

161: Get your Tit(on)s out

I am all geared up.  This week, XXL is in Glasgow and I have a ticket.  I have visions of a club filled with hot, hairy big men, all covered in sweat, rubbing up against me and forcing me to touch their tinklebags and trying to de-flower me.  More likely, there will a decided lack of daddybears and I will spend most of the night staring at the floor.

I have only been to XXL London once and that was a totally wild experience!!  For lots of people there - just not me unfortunately.  No-one had explained to me how exactly the club was laid out, and being the height of absolute cool, I arrived pretty much the moment it opened doors.  I drifted nonchalantly through the sparse bar area into a big empty dance floor.  I continued through to another empty dance floor and then to the bar at the back.  I got a drink and then went back to the second dance floor.  I would love to claim that I stayed there because the music was rocking or because the dark room was in that section but it was simply that it had bits I could sit on.  I'm lazy.  Anyhoo, there I sat, perched on my wee platform thing and watched the 50 or so folk that filled this room.  Some leather daddies and a few non-de-script people bopping about. By two in the morning, I was beginning to get bored and we decided to leave, rather disappointed in the lack of men.  That's when I went back through the first dance-floor.  It was wall-to-wall, chubby sweaty bears with their tops off, grinding and hugging and having a fucking awesome night.  And all I could do was follow the guy I was there with, out through this heavenly crowd.  I had missed the whole fucking thing.  I found out later that Richard Riehle had been in there that night as well.  That's not true but it might have fucking well have been  - there was serious talent in that room.  Therefore, for XXL this time, I intend to be constantly roaming around all the sections of club with night-vision specs and a walkie-talkie to communicate with friends who can direct me to the areas where all the men are.  So, next week you will either get a sad blog or nothing as I will still be getting chipped out of the layers of dried daddy bear cum that I have been encased in - like that mosquito encased in amber from Jurassic Park.

I love the people who contact me to contribute to this blog.  I really do.  Even if the guy is not my speed, I totally appreciate someone taking the time to let me know about these guys.  This week, the lovely Dan brought this Brazilian moustache with a body attached to my attention.  I have the biggest weakness for moustaches and this guy is one of the best.  Brazilian politician Romildo Titon.  He stands for....politicy things and he has a very strong stance on.......stuff.  I don't really care.  He is beautiful and has a great, sexy moustache.  He has developed the ability to make love to the camera in every shot.  I did see something about some bribery and corruption scandal he is involved in about bore-drilling, but unless that is somehow going to result in him doing nude photo-shoots and porno's on Older4Me then I don't have much of an opinion.  He's a politician  - of course he's corrupt.  Anyway, Mr Titon, I have bought you an extra ticket for XXL and I will be waiting for you by the dark room.  I have a hole drilling proposition that you might be interested in!


"Get the fuck out of this shot, I am smouldering for the camera"



This looks like a porn film doesn't it?  You know, the desk that has a few pieces of shit on it so it looks professional before they get down to the rimming and projectile jizzing.




This totally looks like one of the pics I would take when I was pretending to talk on my phone



"So, you wanna to drill my area?"

Feel free to photoshop a penis into this image



That shirt looks kinda tight - take it off!





I
The 'ready-to-close-lid-so-people-don't-see-your-porn' pose is perfectly illustrated here

Tuesday, 6 May 2014

160: Drank it all in

There is no way that I could post on this blog and not make reference to passing of Bob Hoskins.  A great actor and an icon of daddybear lovers everywhere.  I had not included Mr Hoskins on this blog as yet as I always figured there would be plenty of time to get around to it.  Many of us had grew up with Bob Hoskins being the first real screen bear that we could see on a regular basis on our screens.  His performances in films such as Mona Lisa, The Long Good Friday, Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and Brazil will serve as testament to his range and talent.  He will be dearly missed.

Now is not the time for me to include the lovely Mr Hoskins in the blog.

Let's instead think of more pleasant things.  Me.  I have managed to trap a nerve in my arm which is giving me weird, painful electric shock feelings in my hand.  That is the main reason that I have avoided blogging for the last few weeks.  It happened as I was hanging over a ledge to save a baby that had been thrown through a window by an explosion.  Well, it was either that or when I leaned down over the back of my couch to try and grab my charger.  After a few minutes of excruciating neck pain, there was a very loud crack as my shoulder went back into place.  Since then, I have had pain in my hand.  I keep hoping that the electric shock pain will soon manifest itself as electric bolts that I can shoot from my hands.  Watch this space!  It is so depressing.  I can't reach down without causing myself injury.  I am getting old and unfit.  This is why I am choosing to lie on my couch from now on and carry out no further movement.  People can place food in my mouth and arrange for men to be mechanically lifted and lowered onto my penis.  You know, that doesn't sound too bad.

Anyway, the man for this week is an actor and musician by the name of Frank Drank.  A beautiful, burly bear of a man, I spotted him in an episode of House M.D. that was on playing a Bartender.  For a brief, hopeful, moment I hoped that I was actually about to watch a porn about a gentle, hairy bartender who is set upon by lusty patrons but no such luck.  I can't really tell you much about Mr Drank other than he has appeared in films such as 'The Campaign' and seems to sing in a band.  Pretty woeful researching I know but there really isn't a lot about him.  Oh, he's a L.A. Clippers fan if that helps.  I think they are a chain of barber shops or something.  He tends to get cast in roles such as 'Biker' or 'Inmate', both of which fill a lot of fantasies for me.  I am hoping we get to see a lot more of him in more expanded roles.  No, I know what you are thinking - not Porn.  Well, ok yes it would be awesome if he did porn but maybe the lead role in a remake of Zardoz.  A red nappy is not going to ruin the rest of the image for me.



So....yeah...this outfit kinda works for me too






Real Men love Good Housekeeping

Frank takes it badly if you didn't like his scenes in 'Goodbye World'




On the set of 'Care Bears the Movie: Care Bears Gonna Fuck You Up!'



I am beginning to sense a theme here