Friday, 29 August 2014

163: Suk(er) on this!

A friend of mine has recently been holidaying in Croatia and I have been looking at the holiday snaps the way that we all keenly do - trying to see if they managed to snap any hot daddies in the background.  Alas, no such luck.  I have seen photos of Croatia but everytime I see pics, I always feel slightly taken aback that it is as sun-drenched and beautiful as it is.  It's like photographs of Piers Morgan.  I know he is a slimy cunt but, everytime I see a pic, I am filled with a fresh level of revulsion at the horror of his half-melted face.  You think you would get to a stage where you would know what to expect but each time, damn, the horror is as bad as the first time.

Anyway, I have decided to cover a Croatian politician this time.  And incredibly cute he is too.  He was previously the Vice President of the Republic of Croatia and previously the Finance Minister.  He is also a huge fan of Basketball (for some reason) and served as the chairman of the Croatian Basketball Assocation (yes - Croatians play basketball - who knew?).  He is also a five-time winner of the 'Sexiest Finance Minister' accolade which is sponsored by Daddybearfrontier and has a voting panel of me, my two dogs, my two cats and half-eaten banana sandwich (sadly no longer with us).  I have it on good authority that he values these awards above any of his political successes.

I don't really know anything about him, other than I want to fuck him.  However, judging a book by it's cover. he has a kinda corrupt, sleazy look about him.  And that is what pushes him from 'attractive' to downright 'sexy'.  Everyone loves a bad boy.  Except bad boys.  They like their boys clean living and chaste.  Which is why I am constantly being beset by bad boys.

Without further ado, here is Mr Ivan Suker.

My interest in Basketball is piqued!

I bet his balls would smell fantastic

"Jesus, the minute I try a quick nose pick, this bastard appears"

Checking out each others Chaturbate pages

"no, seriously, Ivan - you NEED to keep your shirt on in here"

"I'm going to tongue-punch you right in the fart box"

Monday, 21 July 2014

162: A smooth Cuban to stick in your mouth

The Commonwealth Games are now due to start here in Glasgow.  I have spent the last few weeks undergoing intense athletic training to get myself in shape only to find out that Malteaser-tossing is not a featured event.  All that time wasted!

All the eyes of the Commonwealth will be focused on Glasgow will be a fuck up.  To say that Glasgow couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery is an understatement.  They couldn't organise a orgy in Westminster!  At the moment, there are diversion signs all over Glasgow that, if you follow them, send you in a loop back to where you started.  The Games were meant to be used as a springboard for regenerating the east end of the city, however other than the athlete village, the key areas still look like shit.  Not even superficial dressing up of shop fronts.  Rejoice, people of the east end, we are bringing the Games to your area!  Oh, by the way, there's curfew in place so if you are outside of your house after 10 pm you will get arrested.  Hooray!

But enough of my eager excitement about the impending Games.  I bring to you a Cuban daddybear.  I don't think I have featured a Cuban man before.  I am not sure, but I think if you are American you may not be allowed to even look at this guy.  I apologise if that is the case.  You could illicitly look at him - not that I am encouraging that Mr NSA man! - I know that several Americans have secretly enjoyed getting hold of a nice, fat Cuban, putting it in your mouth and sucking deep for that beautiful, full-bodied taste.  And then some of you have even smoked Cuban cigars.

Pedro Luis Ferrer is a Cuban guitarist, composer and singer and all-round cute daddy bear.  His on-stage photos seem to fall into two categories.  1) He is very happy, invoking the true Communist principle by smiling with all the teeth in Cuba.  2) He looks decidedly unhappy.  As if he has noticed someone in the audience talking on their mobile phone.  He looks quite stern like that.  I kinda like it.  And by like it, I mean I masturbated to those images.  I'd be happy if that was his cum-face.

"'s C-G-C-C-A - papaya - G - mango..."

"Seriously, I hear that ringtone again and I'll beat you with this guitar!"

Pictured:  All the teeth of the inhabitants of Yaguajay

"Don't look at his hair.  Don't look at his hair.  Dont look.."

Coming soon!  The 'Shut The Fuck Up, I'm on Stage' Live album

I had to include this pic of Ferrer's cock

Monday, 2 June 2014

161: Get your Tit(on)s out

I am all geared up.  This week, XXL is in Glasgow and I have a ticket.  I have visions of a club filled with hot, hairy big men, all covered in sweat, rubbing up against me and forcing me to touch their tinklebags and trying to de-flower me.  More likely, there will a decided lack of daddybears and I will spend most of the night staring at the floor.

I have only been to XXL London once and that was a totally wild experience!!  For lots of people there - just not me unfortunately.  No-one had explained to me how exactly the club was laid out, and being the height of absolute cool, I arrived pretty much the moment it opened doors.  I drifted nonchalantly through the sparse bar area into a big empty dance floor.  I continued through to another empty dance floor and then to the bar at the back.  I got a drink and then went back to the second dance floor.  I would love to claim that I stayed there because the music was rocking or because the dark room was in that section but it was simply that it had bits I could sit on.  I'm lazy.  Anyhoo, there I sat, perched on my wee platform thing and watched the 50 or so folk that filled this room.  Some leather daddies and a few non-de-script people bopping about. By two in the morning, I was beginning to get bored and we decided to leave, rather disappointed in the lack of men.  That's when I went back through the first dance-floor.  It was wall-to-wall, chubby sweaty bears with their tops off, grinding and hugging and having a fucking awesome night.  And all I could do was follow the guy I was there with, out through this heavenly crowd.  I had missed the whole fucking thing.  I found out later that Richard Riehle had been in there that night as well.  That's not true but it might have fucking well have been  - there was serious talent in that room.  Therefore, for XXL this time, I intend to be constantly roaming around all the sections of club with night-vision specs and a walkie-talkie to communicate with friends who can direct me to the areas where all the men are.  So, next week you will either get a sad blog or nothing as I will still be getting chipped out of the layers of dried daddy bear cum that I have been encased in - like that mosquito encased in amber from Jurassic Park.

I love the people who contact me to contribute to this blog.  I really do.  Even if the guy is not my speed, I totally appreciate someone taking the time to let me know about these guys.  This week, the lovely Dan brought this Brazilian moustache with a body attached to my attention.  I have the biggest weakness for moustaches and this guy is one of the best.  Brazilian politician Romildo Titon.  He stands for....politicy things and he has a very strong stance on.......stuff.  I don't really care.  He is beautiful and has a great, sexy moustache.  He has developed the ability to make love to the camera in every shot.  I did see something about some bribery and corruption scandal he is involved in about bore-drilling, but unless that is somehow going to result in him doing nude photo-shoots and porno's on Older4Me then I don't have much of an opinion.  He's a politician  - of course he's corrupt.  Anyway, Mr Titon, I have bought you an extra ticket for XXL and I will be waiting for you by the dark room.  I have a hole drilling proposition that you might be interested in!

"Get the fuck out of this shot, I am smouldering for the camera"

This looks like a porn film doesn't it?  You know, the desk that has a few pieces of shit on it so it looks professional before they get down to the rimming and projectile jizzing.

This totally looks like one of the pics I would take when I was pretending to talk on my phone

"So, you wanna to drill my area?"

Feel free to photoshop a penis into this image

That shirt looks kinda tight - take it off!

The 'ready-to-close-lid-so-people-don't-see-your-porn' pose is perfectly illustrated here